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Is the Nobel Committee Planning a Surprise for Americans this Xmas? |
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October 18th, 2009 Oslo - There may be quite a surprise waiting under the Xmas trees of Americans this year, all 305.5 million Americans that is! At a press conference in Oslo this week the prize committee announced the awarding of Nobel prizes to every American man, woman and child. The new Santa Nobel prize was created to encourage better global citizenship among the people of the United States, long considered a backward nation prone to environmental depredation, cowboyness, warmongering, superstitious belief in God and a general sort of "gun and bible clinging" hooliganism throughout the world. "Since we've already announced a prize this year to an American who hasn't accomplished diddley-squat yet, but has great potential to support our enlightened agenda, we thought we'd extend the same incentive to the rest of the country" sez Bjff Bjornson, chairman of the Oslo committee, "in this way we may be able to put the 'X' back in Xmas for many bright years to come." |
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A child like this one has the potential to make enormous future contributions to the new world nannieocracy. |
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The very distinguished and august Santa Nobel Prize for Americans |
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It is hoped that the prizes will encourage couples like this to accept helpful mandates for their lives by one world-wide ruling body that simply knows what is best for them more than they could possibly ever hope to know themselves. |
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This fashion-savvy character has a kind of styleesh bolo thing going with her Nobel Santa medal, even suggesting an abstruse play on cowboyness. Something about the setting of this photo also suggests acumen of more than just fashion. |
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