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Feds Rush to Shore Up National Forests with Plastic Animals |
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May 3rd, 2009 In a bid to shore up the nation's failing forests and wildlife preserves the federal government has launched a bold plan of strategically positioning large plastic animals in areas critical to the biosphere. "Restoring animal confidence in forests and other wild areas is the name of the game, " sez Biff Underblunder of FEMA's Quadruped Placement Team, "unless we take action now we could see a lot of critters looking to set up shop in Europe or China, which would be disastrous to our nation's ecosystems." Despite some criticism as to the correct placement of certain species, the plan is moving ahead quickly. "The main thing is to get paws on the ground as fast as possible," sez Biff, "wild beasts aren't in the habit of just dilly-dallying around." |
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This swarthy uintatherium cuts an imposing figure as he beckons wildlife from near and far. |
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A plastic walrus like this one can almost look real when deftly placed into it's natural habitat. |
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Left to right: "Ketchup", "Salad" and "Mustard" do their best to welcome bears back into this forested area with open forelimbs. |
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