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Internet Browsees Rarely Read Beyond First Paragraph |
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January 17th 2010 A new study has found that people reading content on the Internet seldom read beyond the first paragraph of any given article. While these findings may hardly be surprising, they do underscore now factually what many have suspected all along. "Most people are really in scanner mode when using the internet", sez Biff Emessem, the author of the study. "They're basically doing a sort of high-level grazing, looking only for salient points before moving on to the next thing that peaks their interest." This behavior seems to be fairly consistent, whether the content is current news, celeb gossip, or special interest sites. Even so my dear Molopbin, I was so glad to hear from you, despite the anger that I felt aback, when your baloo-dawgs dismantled my cheese trestle. I have sent Oordo down for salts, he seemed so miserable, like some kind of cod, the poor man, though he still retains a high opinion of you. I have been over and over the list of requirements you sent me by indentured post, and frankly no one should have to brave the reading difficulties imposed upon the manuscript by the fruity notes that dripped off your whiskers as you wrote. Make a note to suspend zumzumberry time until after the days business has been concluded. I should also like to tell you that no one has ever had a palanquin as grand as you suppose that I would now provide. I am hoping the words “filigree spatting” that I imagined under the purplish stain was in fact something more on the order of “flannel matting”. Also, I must insist that you appreciate the expense involved in getting a good gourdcarver to fashion the elaborate pangolin motifs depicted on the roofing buttresses. |
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The Gocks are all gone down the ways now. It is true that I miss the sharp double whistle along with the muffled clumbering one would awake to as they ran up back behind the house and on down the tracks to the wharf. Oft times I would snugly roll over and dream on of baggy trams and shaggy brontodonts lumbering coldly by. It is also true that '09-engines' putter differently once the angle of light has changed and the season is fraying, though I can still hear them open throttle as if to make it around that last bend, to spend what is left to spend of the golden lantern dusknights. With aforementioned chagrin, Guffstad |
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