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Iowa Appears to Have Been Missing for Some Time Now |
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March 1, 2009 - filed by cub reporter "RJ" Iowa has apparently gone missing. A routine check on the state has revealed that it isn't in the general area of the country where people assumed that it was located. While some scoff at the idea that it might have moved or disappeared, cartographers and other geography experts are beginning to believe that this may in fact be the case. "The problem is", said Biff Underbunder, cartographer of the Midwestern Studies department at Berkeley, "no one knows how long it's been gone or really remembers precisely where it was located to begin with." There seems to be some vague recollection among people traveling the north/south routes through the center of the country that it used to be somewhere between Minnesota and Missouri. Travelers remember hastening south through Iowa not because it was an unpleasant part of the trip, but because Missouri was so miserable to drive through, that they just wanted to get to it and get it over with. The cartography community, however is fairly united in the view that Iowa used to be positioned considerably to the west of that area. They also note that a state named 'East Carolina' has recently appeared on the eastern seaboard. The state is shaped vaguely like Iowa, at least as far as memory serves. It could be that Iowans, chafing under the 'flyover America' characterization that the midwest has endured for so long, just pulled up stakes one day and moved east en masse. |
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A slight jog to the east (upper center) in this road running south from Minnesota into Missouri is where many travelers believe Iowa used to be located. Experts generally dismiss this notion. |
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Signs saying 'Welcome to Minnesota' and 'Welcome to Missouri' appear along a stretch of highway where some locals maintain that many intervening miles of Iowa used to exist. Experts are skeptical. |
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This grey circle represents the area of the country where Iowa is thought to have once existed based on a consensus among cartographers. |
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