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"It Was the Scurrying, What Finally Got To Me" |
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February 7th, 2009 After spending a lifetime of diligent and patient study, everything changed abruptly one day for Biff Verminson, researcher at the huge Rodent Habitat Research facility in Florence, South Dakota. The facility, largely designed by Biff, consists of several interconnected dome-like structures housing miles of tubing, crawlways and habitat areas for over 30,000 mice, rats, voles and hamsters in what must be the largest "habitrail" ever constructed. Toiling alone night and day for over 40 years in this environment, Verminson is now a broken man. "It was the scurrying, what finally got to me" sez Biff, "the constant scratch of thousands of tiny rodent claws, always in the background...that was my undoing." "They just sorta snuck up on me, psychologically speaking, especially the hamsters who would go all through the night...” and one such lonely night, Biff Verminson snapped. Wandering about the facility in a daze for months, his research paperwork piling up on his desk, Biff finally arrived at a critical decision. "I felt maybe I had contributed enough to the advancement of murinary science for one guy. And I thought, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em." Biff now plans to live out the rest of his days crawling through the larger passages with his little friends, and with a generous grant from Capybara Superstores, that just might be possible. |
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"I blame the hamsters most of all", sez Biff. |
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Work piled up on Biff's desk while he wandered about the facility in a stupor. |
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The interior of one of the many buildings housing the extensive labyrinthian structures of the habitat. |
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Interconnected dome-like structures, cheery by day, could be lonely by night. |
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