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Can the New Science of Respotranspiration Save Our Planet? |
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November 15th, 2009 Is it possible that simply by making a small change to the way we breathe we could save our planet? Respotranspiration, the new science of breathing, indicates that this is quite possible. But what exactly is Respotranspiration? Simply put, it's inhaling through your mouth and exhaling through your nose when you breathe. It sounds so easy but when we do this, something amazing happens on a chemical level that doesn't happen if we inhale and exhale through our mouth or inhale and exhale through our nose. When we exhale through our nose, the CO2 or carbon dioxide has a chance to pass by structures in the sinus cavities that create a very interesting reaction. At this point an extra oxygen atom bonds with the CO2 forming CO3 or carbon trioxide which then gets expelled through our nostrils. But carbon trioxide has a very low chemical valence, so low, in fact, it's known as a 'liberty valence'. This makes it inherently unstable which causes it to quickly lose the carbon atom and become O3 or ozone. And here is where all this chemistry really benefits our environment. The ozone simply floats high up into the atmosphere to restore our damaged ozone layer. Gone also is the toxic CO2 that humans normally produce which causes global warming. The carbon atoms fall harmlessly to the ground where they are trundled off by industrious* ants into a vast underground network of tunnels and caves that form a massive carbon sequestration project which is deftly administered by a team of stoats and voles under the leadership of the wise and gentle mole king, yes, in the cavernous halls of the mountain king, who cries "slagt ham! slagt ham!" to any and all who would deign to disturb his carbon horde.
* in a good way |
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Inhaling through your mouth and exhaling through your nose allows CO2 molecules to pick up an extra oxygen atom as they pass by tiny structures in the sinus cavities known as the Islets of Lederhosen. The unstable CO3 molecule thus formed quickly breaks down into O3 or ozone as the carbon atom easily falls off. This effectively dispenses with the greenhouse gas CO2 while restoring our ozone layer: an amazing two-fold benefit to our planet! |
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Not much is known about the chemical reactions that took place in the convoluted nasal passages of the unitatherium, except that it probably resulted in the production of noxious breath that contributed to its extinction. |
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Exhaling through your ears is not recommended. While passing through the ear canal the carbon atom of the unstable CO3 can get knocked off the molecule and replaced by sulfur. This results in SO3 or sulfur trioxide, the chief agent in producing acid rain! Also a disgusting carbon residue is left behind. Ish! |
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